Honey

ok, so if you have ever seen me pushed to the limit,
i tend to freak out.
just a little.
but it still counts as a freak out, for sure.
it has gotten WAY better in the past year or two,
but i still need some reassurance from time to time.
and i lean on those closest to me during these moments.

tonight, i called one of my Besties and she talked me off the ledge.
(i then promptly crawled back out onto said ledge.)
then the bf called, and i came to realize after we got off the phone,
that he has a recipe that works.

it is really simple,
but it has never failed.
and here it is...

top 3 Erek-isms:
"that's great, Honey!"
"sounds great, Honey."
"you're gonna do great, Honey."

i can totally hear him saying it as i am reading it now on my laptop screen.
it's perfect.
whether i am telling him about some boring shit i just learned,
or asking him if he wants to go see some movie or do some random thing with me,
it's perfect. it just works.

and when i need to be reassured,
and reminded that it is all gonna be ok...
it works then too.

i'm so grateful for his sanity when i'm losing it.
he is so supportive, and positive, and real.
it helps me. it centers me. it's super nice.

the pressure i put on myself is overwhelming,
it makes me feel like something is smashing me down,
crushing me.
it gets hard to breathe.
all i can do is cry it out a little and call the people who love me so they can distract me and calm me.
it's great that all i need is a little, "........., Honey."
to make it all better.
i love it.
and it is super convenient for him too.
because it comes naturally to him.
which is awesome.

i'm SO glad he was there to "honey" me.
i needed it.
and i feel a bit better.
still stressed,
but better.
:)