pam and jim

watching the episodes leading up to pam and jim becoming pam&jim is making me really squishy.

that is all.

nothing to explain

pure joy = not needing to explain.

there's no need to justify what i say to him,
he just lets me be me.
all the time.
he can see me for who i am all of the time.
no hiding, no judgement.
just grace.
and love.
and warm sincerity.
all of the time.
no need for me to fear that i am feeling too much.
because there isn't too much.
it's all just enough.
because... how can a feeling be wrong?
I Love the Way I'm Feeling.
and i don't need to explain it to him or to you or to me.
it just is.
and i am overjoyed.

lacking motivation

why is it that i need a fire under my ass to get motivated?!
i am sitting here. wasting time. when i should be studying.
instead i am watching inane shows on the telly and facebooking my face off.
i know i will regret the wasted time, but i am up against a wall...
and the wall reads: "i don't wanna!"

i called my people for a pep talk, and it worked for about 5 minutes.
i swear i wonder how i've made it through medical school...
it's some sort of miracle!

anyway, i just wanted to vent and i figured that this might be a good place.
i'm going to try to stop watching Russell Brand and Jonah Hill and start reading about the brain.
ugh... sounds awful.
but i gots to.
it's now or never.
for real.

kthxbai.