Saturday, August 28, 2010

it hurts, but it's OK.

it hurts me SO much to see little kids in pain.
i hate it.
and here i was, thinking that i wanted to go into pediatrics.
no way.
can't do it.
and guess what... that is totally ok.
yup. it's ok.
cuz guess what else.... i didn't really truly want to go into peds anyway.
yup. it's true.
i THOUGHT it was what i wanted.
but after delivering babies and caring for women for 6 weeks, all i wanted was more time in Ob/Gyn.
yup. Ob/Gyn. the ONE THING i KNEW i DIDN'T WANT... yup.
and here i thought my HP was all done with surprises for me.
but AGAIN, i was wrong. my HP will never be done surprising me.
i forgot how much i love surprises... it is practically impossible to surprise me.
i'm too wiley for my own good.
i ruin my own surprises all the time.
suprise parties, presents.... ruined... cuz i figure it out or i ask about them incessantly until the bearer of gifts caves.
but not this time!
thanks HP. thanks SO MUCH for letting me see my truth.
for helping me see how much i have to offer.
for showing me what is out there for me and how cool it can be.
so what if i won't be fixing little baby hearts. there are other people out there who won't be so affected by the sadness of it all.
i want to help bring healthy little babies into the world, and help rid women of chronic pain.
yup. it feels like the puzzle piece inside my soul has fallen into place once more.
i wonder how many more pieces are in there that I have yet to see?

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