Sunday, February 20, 2011


remember when i wasn't in medical school?
i don't.

it feels like i have spent the better part of a lifetime getting through these past 3 years.
it has been awful. and wonderful.
and exhausting. and overwhelming.
and that is just an average week in the life of Me.

yesterday, a man told me he wanted me to be his doctor.
he wanted ME to care for him and keep him healthy.
no one else.
i was honored.

this past week i have studied for over 60 hours.
on top of a 45 hour work week.
i am exhausted.

tomorrow i will take two 3 hour exams, practically back-to-back.
plus i need to pack for my weekend trip, i need to load the dishwasher, i need to take out the trash, and i need to clean out my car.
i am overwhelmed.

the bad news is... this is going to be my semi-constant state for the next few years.
the good news is... it isn't constant. and it is not permanent.

this is the part of the tight-rope walk where i i look down and freak out because i am so high off the ground.
and then i realize that there is a net. and if i fall i won't break... i'll bounce. i am safe.
soon i will be on the other side.
and i have no idea what it will look like.
where i will end up.
what will happen to me

but i DO know that whatever happens to me... to my life... to my dreams...
that i will not fall and break. i will bounce.
i am safe.
i am taken care of.


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