Monday, April 4, 2011

who knew?

i just spent the past hour on the phone with someone talking about deeply personal life stuff.
normally, this wouldn't be something out of the ordinary...
...cuz i LOVE talking on the phone about deeply personal shit.
but i barely know this person, and yet it felt totally comfortable.
i feel like i can trust him with all kinds of shit.
and vice versa.
and it is amazing. for real.
i'm honored that someone would trust me to walk them through their pain and discomfort.
it is a testament to the growth in me. and that is rad.
anyway, i've kinda seen him around for years and then,
out of nowhere,
there came a moment when he reached out and i just happened to be there.
it was pretty perfect.
and i'm really glad it happened... it brings me joy.

this has been happening quite a bit lately...
these magical moments, these new friendships coming out of nowhere... unexpectedly... and it is blowing my mind.
within the last couple of months i have met people who are changing my life.

i have a new bestie, she is in my inner sanctum and i don't take that shit lightly...
but this girl had me at hello and i feel like we are going to be friends until we die.
at least i hope so.

i grew really close to a girl who just moved away... (which makes me super fucking sad)
this chick is amazing... we laughed our asses off on the regular, she spent part of my birthday with me,
we bonded over medical stuff, and she worked her way up my speed-dial favorites list faster than most.
i'm gonna miss her... she is fantastic.

i started hanging out with the guy who i love to love.
we go to the movies, we talk about all the stuff we have in common... which is a lot.
we both love a lot of the same kind of art, tattoos, movies, music, etc. it's rad.
he hugs me like he means it, and he makes me laugh all the time.
it all makes me smile. a lot.
i feel like we are getting closer by the minute and i can't wait to see what happens.

and then there is the guy who trusts me with all his personal life shit.
his heart is super warm, and his vulnerability is a little scary...
i hope he finds what he is looking for.
and i hope it is healthy and makes him happy. for real.

i don't know where all this change is coming from...
my only explanation for it is that I am changing.
and i think this shift is a big one.
i can kinda feel it.

it all is stemming from old relationship stuff.
it's like i'm making room in my heart for new life and new love.
it's pretty effing awesome, i'm not gonna lie.
i'm so glad i am doing the things i need to do to clear out the past,
and repair the old relationships that have been damaged and broken for years.

it gives me some hope, and reminds me that i am never stuck...
i can choose to change whenever i want, and the world will change around me,
or it will get left behind.

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